Day 28 New Digits

Today is weigh day. I can’t lie, it is with much anticipation that I get on the scale hoping, praying that the number reflects my good choices. In fact, the day before weigh day I will dwell on whether or not what I have been eating, not eating, doing is enough to see a loss. Did skipping the pizza at my grandchild’s birthday party make a difference? Did all the little decisions I made along the way to eat on program pay off? At my weight, it is sometimes hard to feel the weight loss. So I can’t go by how I feel as much as what does the scale say these days. Eventually, this will change….but for now, it’s all about the numbers on the scale.

One month of choosing life before my favorite foods. YES!! Don’t get me wrong, I have been here before, only to fall face down into all the old foods and behaviors that got me into this mess to begin with. Off and running I go. I want this time to be different. I have too much at stake to think I can afford to binge on my favorite foods. Some days the mind games are ruthless. I hear things like, just one won’t hurt, or you deserve to eat xyz. You have been so good. I have to constantly fight those urges and call on the truth of the matter. The truth is, if I keep doing what I have always done, I will continue to get, what I always got. A life full of physical struggle, emotional pain, humiliation, and despair. A life half lived. No more!

I refuse to let food dictate my life anymore. I am not so naive to believe it will be easy, but I KNOW it will be worth it! At my weight, there are so many limitations to what I can do. Add to this, the fact that I need a hip replacement and can’t really walk which really limits my exercise. Living with severe chronic pain really plays a role in what I can physically do right now. I know if I just keep doing what I am doing with my food choices, one day at a time, it will all fall into place. Things will get better. Soon enough, I will be able to have less pain and that will motivate me to start moving more. I should be going at least to the swimming pool to move my body in the water. But I am in so much pain just trying to get to the pool, I get discouraged. Just trying to get dressed to get to the pool and then undressed upon coming out of the pool is exhausting right now. I know all this will change as long as I continue to eat on program.

The plan going forward is to eat within my 1500 calorie range. No special foods, no diet pills, no magic bullets. Did you know that there are no magic solutions?
The solution for me is to stay within my calorie budget make good choices in my food selections. I plan to see this all the way to the end this time. There is no turning back, I don’t have the luxury of time anymore.

Today the scale says 378.8 I have lost 19.4 lbs in the last 28 days/month.

Until next time, be well.

Linda~