I knew from the very beginning of this weight loss attempt that this time things needed to be very different. From a food standpoint, I knew that there could be nothing really off limits per se. That in order for me to sustain this way of life it had to be something I could do forever and ever.
In my past efforts to lose weight, every time I went off my food plan, I would get what I call stupid thinking. You know, the mentality of since you already blew it, you might as well eat all you want of whatever you want, quick!! All my binge foods would be singing my name and I would just justify the eating frenzy because I had already “blown it” right? Clearly, this way of thinking is what got me to be over 400lbs. It’s the feast or famine mentality that I had caused me to be so out of control. Today, if I “cheat” I get back on track ASAP. Instead of allowing the indulgence to own me, I am learning to own it and let it go. I am learning to be more gentle with myself and more forgiving of myself, not to be confused with making excuses for myself.
My comfort foods are definitely the hardest foods for me to control. But I have allowed myself to eat from those foods from time to time along this journey. There have been a few times where I have eaten from those foods like the old days. But what I have learned is that each and every day is a new day. Each meal, each day I get a clean slate to work from and I can pick up where I left off. I don’t have to stay in the mode of making unhealthy choices.
This weight loss journey does have its ups and downs for sure. But even during the times that I have made less than a perfect choices, I still managed to lose weight. I am learning how to minimize the damage by getting right back on track. I am learning that a slip does not have to spiral down into a major slide. And even if I do spiral out of control for a bit, I can turn things around at my next meal. I can be successful on this weight loss journey.
Listen, I am not aiming for perfection here. I just want to be able to live my life in a healthy body. I want to be the best I can be, but I am human. I am going to eat off program from time to time. But what I do to recover from those less than perfect decisions is what will decide how successful I will be. I am happy with my progress thus far. It’s funny, I am perfectly imperfect and that’s okay. As long as I get back to doing the work that needs done, I will reach my weight loss goals.
Today the scale reads 363.4. That’s 6 lbs down from last week’s weigh in of 369.4. Thank you God, I am grateful.
Until next time, be well.
Linda~
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Day 100 Where Will I Be On January 1st 2011?
I was on a very slippery slope this past weekend. Today I made the following decision that was inspired by a friend.
There are 49 days left until 2011.
If I work hard at losing weight, I might weigh 350 lbs on January 1st 2011.
If I wait, and indulge instead, I might weigh 390 on January 1st 2011.
I have thought it over and DECIDED that I would like to work hard and reach for the 350 pounds. So, over the next 49 days I will eat healthy foods. My effort level will be at 100%. I want to obtain the best results possible. I am worth it!
Wednesday 11/10/10 the scale read 369.4. That was a 3.2lb gain from the week prior due to many food indulgences over the last weekend.
I was able to reel my eating back in and get back on track on Tuesday 11/09/10.
What will you weigh on January 1st 2011? Have you decided?
Until next time, be well.
Linda~
There are 49 days left until 2011.
If I work hard at losing weight, I might weigh 350 lbs on January 1st 2011.
If I wait, and indulge instead, I might weigh 390 on January 1st 2011.
I have thought it over and DECIDED that I would like to work hard and reach for the 350 pounds. So, over the next 49 days I will eat healthy foods. My effort level will be at 100%. I want to obtain the best results possible. I am worth it!
Wednesday 11/10/10 the scale read 369.4. That was a 3.2lb gain from the week prior due to many food indulgences over the last weekend.
I was able to reel my eating back in and get back on track on Tuesday 11/09/10.
What will you weigh on January 1st 2011? Have you decided?
Until next time, be well.
Linda~
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Day 91 INSANITY
I decided that today’s post was not going to be so much about food. I have a lot on my mind right now, and since this journal is for me, it needs to be about me to help me. I want my journal to be a place where I can write what I feel is going on in my life to help me through this weight loss journey. It is the very stuff that is so hard to talk about, so personal. But if I don’t write it out, I won’t have any healing, and I want to get better.
My son is someone I love very much. Over the last 11 years of his 27 years on this earth, I have tried so hard to help him. Suffice to say that he struggles with an addiction along with other life issue. I have tried everything I know how to do to help him, but none of the things I tried worked. The one thing I have not tried is letting go. It’s something I should have done a long time ago. But in spite of knowing what I should do, the reality is that it’s very hard to do when it’s your own child. Because no matter what age they are, they are still YOUR children. But loving him to death was never my intention.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results. "
For the last 11 years, I have been living in an insane situation. And while I know that the only person I can change is me, I persisted in helping my son because he kept coming back to me saying he wanted to change. He would say all the right things I needed to hear in order to continue the insanity, and I bought it… hook, line, and sinker. I was willing to go to any lengths to help him help himself. But the wrong person was doing all the work. In the end, all the rules were broken, all the promises made were broken, and it saddens me to say that once again, I am exactly where I was 11 years ago. Heartbroken.
The one thing I forgot is we all must grow up and experience the consequences of our choices, good or bad. It is time that I give him the respect to live his life the way he chooses. I love him more than he will ever know. But it’s an illusion to believe that I could change anyone but myself. I pray that one day soon he will decide to do whatever it takes to turn his life around.
The 3 R’s of growing up:
The first R stands for taking responsibility; growing up is a process of taking increasing
responsibility for our choices and actions.
The second R is for doing the right thing, which almost always produces the best result and leaves us feeling good about ourselves.
The third R is for respecting ourselves, which leads us to make better choices and care more
about doing our best.
Today the scale said 366.2. That is 2.4 down from last week for a total of 32lbs down since 8/4/10.
Until next time, be well.
Linda~
My son is someone I love very much. Over the last 11 years of his 27 years on this earth, I have tried so hard to help him. Suffice to say that he struggles with an addiction along with other life issue. I have tried everything I know how to do to help him, but none of the things I tried worked. The one thing I have not tried is letting go. It’s something I should have done a long time ago. But in spite of knowing what I should do, the reality is that it’s very hard to do when it’s your own child. Because no matter what age they are, they are still YOUR children. But loving him to death was never my intention.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results. "
For the last 11 years, I have been living in an insane situation. And while I know that the only person I can change is me, I persisted in helping my son because he kept coming back to me saying he wanted to change. He would say all the right things I needed to hear in order to continue the insanity, and I bought it… hook, line, and sinker. I was willing to go to any lengths to help him help himself. But the wrong person was doing all the work. In the end, all the rules were broken, all the promises made were broken, and it saddens me to say that once again, I am exactly where I was 11 years ago. Heartbroken.
The one thing I forgot is we all must grow up and experience the consequences of our choices, good or bad. It is time that I give him the respect to live his life the way he chooses. I love him more than he will ever know. But it’s an illusion to believe that I could change anyone but myself. I pray that one day soon he will decide to do whatever it takes to turn his life around.
The 3 R’s of growing up:
The first R stands for taking responsibility; growing up is a process of taking increasing
responsibility for our choices and actions.
The second R is for doing the right thing, which almost always produces the best result and leaves us feeling good about ourselves.
The third R is for respecting ourselves, which leads us to make better choices and care more
about doing our best.
Today the scale said 366.2. That is 2.4 down from last week for a total of 32lbs down since 8/4/10.
Until next time, be well.
Linda~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
