Persistence + Time = Success Day 15

I am such an impatient person. I want immediate gratification. It’s funny how my mind works. It’s as if I just want this weight to magically fall off my body. Silly huh? But secretly, it’s what I really expect...as unrealistic as it is lol.

For example, when I weigh in and I don’t get the weight loss I think I deserve, this is what goes through my head. Geez, I turned down so much good food this week and I only lost a ½ lb?!?!?! Well that doesn’t seem fair! Not when I could have eaten anything I craved and even binged and probably would have stayed the same weight!! Crazy thinking huh?

Some days I just feel so deprived when I can’t eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it! I also think it’s so sad that food plays such an important role in my life. I do not have a normal relationship with food. I doubt I ever will. Some days are a breeze, while other days I have to fight off the desire to eat and eat. I don't want to be the fat girl for the rest of my life. I don’t know why I have these days where everything just seems to be such a struggle. It is like my mind is my worst enemy. It’s like I am two people. There is the Linda that knows what to do and how to do it, she knows what needs to be done and is so determined to get it done. No excuses. Then there is this other Linda, that has all these excuses as to why it’s so hard and how it's not fair and wants to stomp her feet and cry about the injustice. Just like a spoiled child. It’s just crazy!! Some days I just don’t want to do the work it’s going to take to realize my goals.

All I know is that I have been fat all my life and I don’t want to be fat anymore. I also know that if I am going to lose this weight, I can’t listen to the Linda who has all the reasons why this is too hard. While it’s true that there are some days that are more difficult than others, eating healthy is not hard. What is hard is not giving into the cravings and the desires of my mind. Most of the battle is mental. I have always known that the problem is not only about the food I eat, but my mental state of mind as well. I am here to tell you that in order to stay in the game, I need to keep my head in the game. Some days it’s all I can do to just keep myself from grabbing a jar of peanut butter and plunge in face first. But I can tell you that the feeling I get when I wake up the next day after not submitting to the food is so empowering. And that my friends is what I am talking about. Empowerment! I love that feeling, and wish I could bottle it. I just need to remember that each day that I eat on plan the closer I get to becoming the healthy woman I desire to be.


I want to be successful. The last two weeks have shown me that if I am persistent in making healthy choices with the food, along with the passage of time, it will equal weight loss. I just have to remember to be patient with myself. It’s going to take time. I need to focus on each day as it comes. Each and every day that I choose to eat healthy is one day closer to the day to my new life.

The scale says 383.8 That down 3.8 lbs from last week for a total of 15 lbs down in the last two weeks!

Until next time, be well.

Linda~