Day 78 Life In One Hand…

I have been thinking a lot lately about how all my life, I have used food to change my state of mind. Food has been everything from my recreation to my medication. It has been really hard to not allow myself to do that anymore. I mean, it’s what I have done ALL my life. Eating when happy, sad, angry, lonely, tired, bored, hurt, broken. Food has helped me get through some really rough times, and while I had to wear the results of those unhealthy food choices, eating those foods seemed to soothe my soul. It really did seem to help, even if just for a moment. It was my friend and my worst enemy all at the same time.

Doing life on life’s terms is really hard. Everyday I fight to not use food which is my choice of a mind altering substance Is there life without participating in the all you can eat buffets? I mean, ever since I can remember it has been all about the food. In my world, food has taken up so much of my time. And now that the holidays are just weeks away, one after another, it will be even more important than ever to stay the course. To not go back into thinking that just this one time, or I can start over tomorrow. Because that thinking is a lie. There will be no tomorrow if I allow the food to creep back in like before.

I know I need a game plan. I know that just because it is Halloween, Thanksgiving Day, or Christmas it is not a license to binge or stuff myself with foods that only make my short and long terms goals just that much further away. No, I don’t need to throw in the towel and go back to the foods that I know I can’t handle eating. In order to escape from this obese body, I must be diligent in my efforts and not allow excuses to find their way back into my mind or life.

It is not easy to not mess around with the food. Food is everywhere, and I get to make the choice many times a day as to what I am going to feed my body. Food can longer long be a recreational thing I do. Not to say that it can’t be fun to eat. But, it just can’t be my everything anymore. There are some days that I am so happy to have found the power to fight back. But I won’t lie. There are other times that I am profoundly sad that I can’t eat the way I used to. Without thinking, without writing down everything that goes in my mouth. I find it tedious that I should have to write down what goes in my mouth. I want to be like other people, you know, those people who just seem to eat what they want and never gain a pound. However, I am not that naive to think that even those people really do have a method to their madness. Yes, there are a few folks out there that can eat whatever they want and never put on a single pound and never exercise. But, for the most part, most people have to balance what they eat with exercise and that does allow them to indulge a lot more in the foods they love and not pile on the pounds.

So my message for myself today is something that I have heard in the recovery rooms. We keep our food in one hand and our lives in the other (separate), and we don't mix them. food <-------> life …..DON'T CLAP!

For me, adhering to this concept must be a priority in order for me to be successful on this journey. So today, my life in one hand and my food in the other hand and I DO NOT CLAP!

Today the scales said 366.4. That is 3lbs down from last week for a total of 31.8lbs down since 8/4/10. I am so excited. I am doing this, one day a time. Once decision at a time.


Until next time, be well.

Linda~